I could not resist re-posting this story, true (as claimed) or not. I laughed out loud and recognized my own impatience with incompetence, both a blessing and a curse. And if I were in need of a good attorney, I would want him or her to be just like this.
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his
house in Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan
would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel
of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property
dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down.
After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following
reply.
(Actual letter): “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s
loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract
of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have
prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you
have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to
1803… Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to
clear the title back to its origin.”
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
“Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received.
I note that you wish to have title extended further
than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware
that any educated person in this country, particularly those working
in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by
the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our
application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the
title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France,
which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came
into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year
1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted
the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch,
Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as
careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the
blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus’
expedition. Now the Pope, as I’m sure you may know, is the emissary of
Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted,
created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that
God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God,
therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to
before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I
hope you find God’s original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we
have our damn loan?”
He got the loan.